8 Tips To Healing The Inner Child
I first came across the concept of an "Inner Child" as a student 17yrs ago @The School Of Energy Healing - London. In fact, it came as quite a smack to my consciousness and was the first step in my awakening.
I have since used Inner Child healing as a primary focus to support my clients & my own healing journey, in particular where there has been abuse, trauma or neglect.
Member's Guided Meditation Below...
Regardless of your past, each & every one of us can learn how to better tend to our inner child & when we do we are contributing to a better world for all.
Below I'm sharing a few tips, insights & tools for you to consider as well as share parts of my personal story towards healing a very traumatised, bruised & terrified inner child in "The Lighthouse" this month.
1). Feelings Of Guilt & Shame
Feelings of guilt & shame are common amongst children that have been brought up in dysfunctional environments as the child often feels responsible for what happened & blames themselves for their parent's defects. This can lead to a disconnection & separation from the True Self & The Inner Child so as to avoid having to face these uncomfortable feelings.
Toxic guilt is feeling bad about your behaviours/ blaming yourself for things you are not responsible for & can't control. We can often also think another person's poor behaviour, neglect, lack of love, etc towards us is our fault and continue the self-attack cycle by trying to manipulate to get our needs met or "fix" ourselves rather than stand in our authentic power & worth.
Shame is when we feel bad about our worth as a person. Believing we are defective, inadequate, unlovable, or even bad. This shows up as a constant feeling of unworthiness impacting your life, health, relationships & career.
GIve yourself full permission to feel these emotions and don't rush your healing or get caught in busy-ness so to avoid what's lurking underneath. Check-in with yourself several times a day and ask: "What am I feeling right now?' Locate the feeling in the body, observe it without judgment, and make this a daily practice. Shame & guilt will want to move through you so they can be freed.
2). Removing The Mask
The deeper the pain is buried & rejected, the greater the need for separation and The Mask. This loss of the true self is a painful place to be as the child is always living in fear & carrying the belief "something is wrong with me" or "I did something wrong" = "I am bad". This leads to a stressful life, needing validation & approval from the external world rather than naturally flowing with life & resting in your own innate worthiness.
Now, this may or may not even be conscious, especially if there is a very convincing & clever Mask running the show. For many years my mask ran the show as a highly successful "Director" for a top FTSE 100 - no flaws! Yet, when the mask came crumbling down because no human with my past could keep up that pretense for long - I burnt out, crashed & fortunately found the spiritual path leading to my first awakening.
This false self left unhealed becomes toxic, impacts our self-esteem & self-worth as an adult and so blocks us from stepping into the Adult potential that exists on another timeline. However, with the right support, these false belief systems can be brought to consciousness & with enough self-compassion transformed through FEELING & ALLOWING the buried emotion to purge through the physical body with awareness, presence & higher consciousness. (The 7 Keys Meditation & The Awakening Process).
3). Building Trust & Safety
The key here is to open to trusting & allowing your emotions to be seen, witnessed & validated by another. Building trust & safety with your therapist is essential. Without this foundation, the mask will not come down & the frozen energy of the inner child will remain stuck. It is not possible to do deep inner child work alone as it is unlikely to reveal itself except through its old habits, conditioning & patterns which belong to the Lower Self Child aspects not the Divine Child Self.
Once you have established this contact, journaling is a great way to continue opening up, connecting & checking in with your inner world/ inner being. This allows you to build safety & trust with your Higher Self & Child Self.
Writing or drawing with the left hand is a more intuitive, safer & effective way to communicate at first than verbal dialogue. Check-in with your Inner Child daily & explore what needs are not being met, what it really needs to grow, thrive & feel loved, and what are his/ her dreams? He/She is still there!!!! - Make contact & your Divine Child Self will reveal him/herself. This is what you have been waiting for!!! Sheer Joy exists here when you embody your Divine Child Self.
Connection is just what he/ she needs and when you take the time to listen, pay attention & make your child your priority, you will feel him/ her light up & the joy will follow along with all the emotions that haven't yet fully integrated.
The beauty of this relationship is it will teach YOU - the Adult Self how to LOVE, how to CARE, how to build COMPASSION, how to be KIND, how to LISTEN, etc.
How to show up as the BEST version of yourself with yourself.
Your power, worth & potential lie in her/ his recovery and remembrance of the loving spirit she was when she entered this world. Let her come back to this world whole & she will create magic for you in your life! Connect through MedYoga, 7 Keys Meditation, Nature, Playfulness, Art, Creativity, Music, Ecstatic Dance - Explore!
5). Self - Liberation
The journey of Inner Child Recovery is in fact, self-liberation and will lead you towards the enlightened path. Inner child work requires mastery. Mastery over your Mind, Body & Soul connection. Understanding the needs of a human being as well as the potential of being a 5D Multi-Dimensional Energy field.
As you move through this journey you will eventually invite back all parts of yourself that have been rejected, abandoned, become splintered, and existing outside of yourself. This integration allows the soul/ Higher Self to fully embody the physical vehicle. This is when God is born in human flesh! Know thyself.
Find a soulful community to support your journey to freedom - The Lighthouse is a perfect space for this.
We all could do with some re-parenting and this is not pointing the finger or blaming. In truth, we are all victims of victims, and our level of consciousness is born out of what was passed down to us by the last generation. So in fact, this is great news! You have the power to transform this & say "The buck stops with me!".
Re-parenting takes time, planning & preparation as well as inner inquiry. To start you off, take a sheet of paper & in column 1, write down 3 positive beliefs about life/ world/ you etc your caretaker passed onto you.
Give thanks for this!
Now, in column 2, write down 3 negative beliefs your caretaker passed onto you. In column 3, write out the effects that are showing up as a result of this programming. In column 4, create a new CAUSE. When we change the cause, we change the effect! You have power here that may have been untapped, ignored & not yet fully realised.
When you step into this realisation, you create a new neurological pathway in the brain & a new timeline potential for yourself.
Alternatively, you can reverse the process, take a look at the effects/ results showing up in your life, ie. lack of finances, unhealthy relationships, constant rejection, lack of energy etc etc. What is/ are the possible causes? List them out - you will be surprised at what the subconscious reveals to you that has been hidden from awareness. Can you find the root cause? - keep going deeper by asking Why? What else? What else do I need to know? Cause & effect go hand in hand.
7). Create Self Care Habits
To recover your True Self & return to the wholeness of your Inner Child, you must learn to be more nurturing towards yourself, more realistic about what you can & can't control, build confidence in placing appropriate boundaries, stay present and mindful with uncomfortable emotions & truly look at what is & isn't your responsibility.
Your child deserves to live in a safe, loving & free world. We can often have issues with sustaining good habits because we didn't see adults doing this for themselves & we feel unworthy.
Ask yourself: 'Is this action harmful or helpful to who I want to be in the future?" Another one I like to use is "What would love choose at this moment?" as this allows you time & space to steer the unconscious mind towards considering a response/ new potential rather than a reaction/ conditioned behaviour.
7). Playfulness & Joyfulness
These are two of the key qualities of the Divine Inner Child and the food to keep it feeling nourished, connected and enjoying the space of the heart!
Take time to look at how you might have squeezed joy & playfulness out of your every day moments and interactions with life and people.
When you exude joy & playfulness the Universe is able to give you more as your energy is open and receptive when you are playing & in your joy.
At times you may feel blocked from this but the truth is they are underneath the surface! Let the walls crumble, let the old ways break down & allow the resistance to the true self fall away. Take some time to visualise times in your childhood that brought you happiness, joy, comfort. Allow these feelings to fill your mind, body & spirit and milk these feelings!
This will help raise your vibrational frequency & allow you to look with more hope into your future & you will start to see, taste & smell all the unlimited potentials that want to show up because you are already focusing the mind on an experience that made you feel this - It all starts with energy and aligning to the vibration of what you wish to attract.
You will find a few resources below to support & inspire your Inner Child Recovery.
Thank you for stepping onto this journey & I embrace every aspect of your inner child!
Wishing you a free, fulfilled & enriched life!
Reading: Recovery Of Your Inner Child - Lucia Capachionne
Workbook: The Inner Child Workbook - Cathryn Taylor
Members Monthly Gift
Blog Sign Up - Subscribe For A Weekly Dose Of Inspiration...